Hola! People – never let your husband go to the tip unaccompanied

Some men love to tinker. I swear I think their perfect mate is a Stepford Wife. Just lie under it, have loads of fun and do a quick oil and filter change while you’re at it. Ticks all the boxes.

Anyway, there’s a certain type of man (my favourite type actually) who is so talented in turning bits of old crap into something beautiful and practical that it’s mind-blowing. Of course they do have to set themselves up with up to three (well, three at the moment) man-cave workshops first, stocked with various workshopery items from the 1930s – collected from skips actually – and lovingly restored.

Once these are in place, and in fact while this nesting ritual is underway too, they flit to and from the tip. Allegedly this is with various household rubbish and to visit the bottle bank with my stash of empties.

What really goes on is a leave of extended absence where other boys gather round and admire each other’s classic Land Rovers, poke about in each other’s crap and come back laden with more than they took to the tip.

Now mostly this is, once it’s been painstakingly explained (aaaaah), really useful kit that they don’t make like this any more. The explanation is complete with what the thing does, how it won’t take long to get it working again, how much one like this would cost new….if they still made them, and how much money it will save us.

So you can imagine how interested I was in this process when he returned with a large rubber Tyrannosaurus Rex.

This came to my attention as he’d snuck in and placed it in the rabbits’ run in the garden – I was washing up at the time.

At least the explanation was shorter. ‘I thought it would look great on the hood of the Land Rover’ he said sheepishly.

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