pigeon post

A couple of weeks ago I spent an afternoon immersed in the topics of pigeons, racing pigeons. I was interviewing a lovely guy and a great character – racing pigeons had been his passion for decades – for a newspaper feature. I learned more about pigeons than I thought there was to learn. His knowledge and enthusiasm was inspiring. So actually, was the price you can get for a top racer – an eye-watering £180,000 – yikes!

Still on pigeons….bear with….Last night I tested my husband, who is a construction site manager, prior to taking the exam that renews his CITB health, safety and environment qualifications (eyes glass over, weird facial distortions to hide yawns, yada yada). The exam format is a simple multiple choice answer set up, you have 45 minutes to answer 50 questions. Needless to say the boy aced it in 15 minutes with a top score.

However, as I ploughed through the testing process – wearing his deeply unflattering reading glasses (couldn’t find mine) and looking like Robin Day – I was ruddy delighted to find a pigeon question.

But the best, absolutely best bit, was the multiple choice answers. So, here, verbatim, is the question and multiple choice scenario. You have so got to love ‘c’. Who says these bodies don’t have a sense of humour. Don’t forget, these are, in the majority, hairy-arsed construction folk.

Q.Pigeons’ droppings and nests that can be hazardous to your health are found in an area where you are required to work. You should:

a. carry on with your work carefully
b. stop work and seek advice
c. try to catch the pigeons
d. let them fly away before carrying on with your work

So ‘c’ then. Seriously? I bet examinees can’t stop sniggering when that one comes up. FYI absolutely not the right answer – duh – but would so love it to be. Presume one would have to fill out a requisition form for ‘the big net’ while listening to Whacky Races ‘Catch That Pigeon’ theme tune?

Curiously though, ‘b’ – ‘stop work and seek advice.’ What if the advice comes from someone who subscribes to answer ‘c’?

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